3 Ways To Not Accept Compliments

There are 3 main ways to not accept compliments. The downplay, the brush-off, and the mirror. Yet, no matter which of these 3 traps you fall into, have you ever thought that you are worth the compliment? Click to read which of these three ways you do often and how to stop.

The following was sent to the readers of the
Home Faith Family community on January 2017 in the weekly emails.

3 Ways To Not Accept Compliments

Dear Friend,

Do you ever find yourself falling into the same trap repeatedly? I’m not talking about a hunting trap (heaven forbid) or even an amazing Black Friday crazy-good deal charge-the-credit card trap?

The trap I’m referring to is one that you might find yourself in frequently, and without even realizing it.

What is this trap? Being willing to accept compliments.

I’ll explain. Here are 3 ways to not accept a compliment (along with their “Trap Names”):

1. The Downplay

2. The Brush-Off

3. The Mirror


The Downplay:

The downplay occurs when someone gives you a compliment (such as, “your chocolate chip cookies were amazing!”) and your initial response is to downplay your accomplishment.

You start giving excuses such as, “oh, I baked those too quickly. They could have used a bit more chocolate, but thanks, though.” Or, “yeah, the snicker-doodles didn’t turn out well, so this was an easy recipe that I knew would turn out.”

No matter what compliment someone is wanting or willing to give, naturally (whether it’s habit or you don’t feel comfortable) the initial reaction is to downplay the kind words being offered.

The Brush-Off:

The brush-off is very similar to the downplay, but minus the excuses. A compliment is given and you might say, “sure” or “no problem!” But that’s usually it.

Or, the words, “I do it all the time, it’s no big deal” might also be a culprit.

Sometimes the hardest part with compliments is being willing to admit to yourself that you are worth the compliment being offered.

There are no strings attached, no hidden agenda, or alternative motive. Sometimes people really want to let you know how much you mean to them and what you do really matters.

The Mirror:

The mirror is something I am guilty of doing…a lot. I catch myself offering a compliment back to the person giving the compliment.

For example (going back to the cookie example because cookies are yummy), someone says, “Your chocolate chip cookies are amazing! Thank you for bringing them,” and the first response is, “Thanks, your sugar cookies were great too!”

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you have to ask yourself, did you even try the sugar cookies?

Or better question, are you giving the compliment because you also genuinely mean it or is it a natural response from you to deflect from something good you’ve done?

So what are you suppose to do? How do you accept compliments? It’s simple to say but sometimes hard to do.

Simply say, “Thank You.”

That’s it. Be willing to admit to yourself and accept the fact that you’re someone worthwhile and that what you do matters. Be okay with the fact that when someone offers you a compliment they genuinely mean it.

The more you practice, the easier it’ll become.

Until next week my friend,



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Trackbacks & Pings

  • Food for Thought #14 | The Sparrow's Home :

    I love manners!  Good manners, specifically.  This little lesson in etiquette is one refresher course we all need.  I know I’ve done all three of these.  How about you?

    9 months ago

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