There are moments when motherhood feels too hard and you doubt your abilities to nurture. I want you to know, you’re not alone in your struggles. There are 5 steps you can take, starting today, when motherhood feels overwhelming that will help you.
Before becoming a mother, I often thought moms spent their time snuggling with babies, reading books, and enjoying moments of laughter and serenity.
It wasn’t until I became a mother that I fully realized there are so many moments when motherhood feels too hard. There are often times when the weight of the world rests on your shoulders and you wonder if what you’re doing is worth the work.
You spend countless hours cleaning and caring for children, sacrificing who knows how many days of sleep to cradle a baby or have a late-night conversation with your teenager. And don’t forget those last-minute homework assignments.
Even then, there is more that encompasses motherhood and what you do in your home.
Bereaved Mothers Day is a day to remember and honor mothers who have lost a child. It is observed on the first Sunday of May. This day provides an opportunity for grieving mothers to come together to support and comfort one another.
There are those unspoken moments when you’re giving hugs and comfort to your children that you deeply desire someone to reach out and hug you. To let you know everything is going to be okay.
“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her.”
—George Washington
But what about those moments when motherhood feels too hard and you doubt your abilities to love and nurture your children? What then?
I want to share with you 5 steps you can take starting today.
These are the steps I find myself referring back to when motherhood feels too hard for me as well. I know they’ll help you too.
When Motherhood Feels Too Hard – 5 Steps You Can Take Starting Today
Cherish The Chaos
I found myself recently standing in the middle of our living room that looked like an elephant danced his way around and happened to empty only the toy box and bookshelves.
My three children were all screaming and crying (for one reason or another) and I was really tired.
This moment was definitely a not-glamorous motherhood moment and I found myself secretly looking forward to bedtime.
When the blissful thought of the children tucked in bed came to my mind, a second thought followed behind. I remember thinking, “These moments aren’t meant to be enjoyed, but the source of your joy when your tender and happy memories come.”
After this day, I found myself actually enjoying the chaos a little more.
It can be difficult to know how to say happy Mothers Day to a grieving mom. You may feel like you need to say something, but be unsure of what would be helpful or appropriate. Here are some ideas you can celebrate this mother and show your support on Mother’s Day.
In order to love and really cherish those moments when your child tells you that you’re their favorite person or that they love you, you have to pass through the days of trial and struggle. You have to know the bitter moments of motherhood before you can fully embrace and love the sweet tender mercies.
“A mother is the truest friend we have. When trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
—Washington Irving
Remember, This Isn’t Forever
Motherhood lasts forever, but your children will grow up very quickly.
In the journey of motherhood and the experiences you’re having, the days are often long, but the years go by too quickly.
Your child screaming and rebelling at every little thing you ask won’t last forever. But how you approach the situation and your child will have a lasting influence on them for years to come.
You can’t expect perfection from yourself as a mother because this is impossible. But there are so many things you’re doing right, right now.
Keep Moving Forward
Focus on the good you’re doing for your children in their lives. You might not think what you’re doing is worthwhile or significant, but you don’t see yourself through their eyes.
There is something magically comforting and wonderful about the presence of a child’s mother.
When your days seem long and arduous, when you feel like you’re lost in time, don’t think about today, but keep moving forward to tomorrow.
And eventually your tomorrows become your children’s todays and they will soon find themselves welcoming into their home your grandchildren.
“There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.”
—James E. Faust
Deep Breathing
Keep breathing and take moments to pause.
Even in the chaos of children when you find yourself surrounded by screams and all you want to do is hide in the pantry and cry, simply breathe.
No one ever said motherhood would be easy. There are moments that tug at your very heartstrings and you wonder if what you’re doing is worth these moments. If you’re actually making a difference in your child’s life.
I promise you are. You’re doing a wonderful job.
There are some moments when you need to pause and take a moment to recoup yourself so you can think clearly and be present for your children.
Look To God
When in doubt, look to the perfect Maker who blessed you to be a mother.
The calling of motherhood is not given lightly. It exacts from us our very best in exchange for what seems like countless dirty diapers, food-stained clothes, messy hair buns, bloodshot eyes, and a few wrinkles to round us out.
God blessed you to be a mother. He has given you certain children that He knew only you could touch, help, and guide.
Trust in Him and His plan for you and your children.
I promise that God knows best and that He would never give you an experience, or a trial, that wouldn’t draw you closer to Him and refine your skills to share His love with others.
“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in, it is what God gave you time for.”
—Rachel JanKovic
As you remember that these moments won’t last forever, but they are a stop in the journey of motherhood, keep moving forward and look to God, you’ll be able to cherish your irreplaceable role as a mother.
In all honesty, there is nothing in life that was ever obtained easily. But it’s in the sweat and labor of our daily lives that we often find the greatest joys and happiness. In the role of mother, you give everything of yourself and the blessings you’ll receive will be immeasurable.
Be sure to share this post with a mother you know.
Micah Klug is a wife, homeschooling mother to five children, and author. She teaches time-tested solutions to help parents remember what matters most in life, including strengthening their home, faith, and family relationships. To learn how a child who grew up in an authoritarian home is now creating an environment of peace and joy in her own home visit this page. If you want to contact Micah, send her an email here or email [email protected].
Thank you for the tips. Good reminders.
Thank you, Rachel. Have a great day.
This is great! I love how you, instead of just commiserating, give us concrete steps to take when it gets really hard! Love it!
Hi Anne! I’m so glad you found this post helpful! As busy moms, where moments can quickly become hard and stressful, it’s important to remember our “why” and to know what we are doing really does matter. I hope you have a great day, friend.