Seeing someone you love with depression is hard. You want to help and reach out but sometimes aren’t sure how. I want to share with you 8 ways for helping your spouse with depression that’ll make your life easier. You don’t have to feel alone in your marriage. There is hope and help for you and your spouse.
A while back I wrote about my experience of living with a husband who is suffering from depression and offered advice to women who are experiencing the same situation.
Since then, I have learned 8 more ways for helping your spouse with depression that’ll make your life easier. I want to share with you these tips and why you need them in your life.
If you are married to someone who has depression, please know that you don’t have to go through this alone. There are those who know your worries, concerns, sorrow, and your desire to want and help your sweetheart.
Unfortunately, we can’t take away trials from the ones we love, especially from our spouse. But there are things you can do today to help your spouse that’ll make your life a lot easier.
8 Ways For Helping Your Spouse With Depression That’ll Make Your Life Easier
1. Don’t Leave, Sit Down Instead
I’m all too familiar with the early morning, late night, random moments of deep conversation where you spend talking to your husband and helping him process what he’s feeling.
In our situation, I found when there were stress points in our lives, a loss of a job, a difficult day at school, a disappointment or when we were struggling financially that his depression would get even worse.
When these moments come (and they do), instead of leaving your sweetheart to their own thoughts, sit down and talk them through how they’re feeling. Ask questions that will help them process their thoughts and identify their why.
And in those moments they don’t know their why just sit patiently and remind them that you love them.
2. This Won’t Last Forever
Your spouse is not defined by this mental disease. He is more than his depression.
Remind yourself that these moments won’t last forever. Think of your spouse’s best days and have a constant reminder of who you fell in love with.
3. Take Care of You
As much as you take care of your spouse, remember to take care of yourself too.
What is it that helps you feel better about yourself or gives you a sense of purpose, direction, and clarity?
Take time to answer this question. Maybe you think clearly when you go on an early morning walk, or perhaps you best express yourself through writing. Whatever your outlet might be, you need to take the time to take care of yourself.
4. Learn As Much As You Can
The more you know about depression, the signs, and what you can do to help your husband, the better prepared you will feel in your current situation.
It’s important to remember that your spouse’s depression isn’t your fault, just like it’s not his fault.
The more you’re able to learn the better you’ll be able to help him. There are limitless books, podcasts, magazines, and medical pamphlets you can read and research in your quest for knowledge.
5. Be Patient And Remind Him of His Worth
There are days when your spouse will feel worthless, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be reminded of their worth.
They might say they don’t believe you, but that doesn’t mean they believe this themselves. Depression does horrible things to the ones we love. They lose their sense of infinite worth and value, and you have the opportunity to remind him of his worth.
It’s important that you take the time you need to love him a little longer and a lot harder. And as you do, keep being patient with him and yourself.
6. Revisit Your Favorite Memories
One of my favorite things to do is revisit some of our favorite memories together. I have in the back of my mind at all times, three to five of the happiest memories my husband and I have together. They’re hilarious where both of us (or one of us) is being silly.
I use these memories and share them with my husband when he’s really having a rough day and I want to try and add a little sunshine in his life. I’ll often ask him, “Do you remember that time when…” and more often then not he might give me a little smile.
But the purpose of revisiting your favorite memories isn’t to make them laugh, but to remind them of better times in the past and of better times ahead.
7. Hold On To God
You can fight this battle without God, but I promise if you hold onto Him you’ll find yourself in a better state of peace and inner-strength of support.
God knows exactly how your sweetheart is feeling and how to help them. He wants to help you through this difficult time in your life, but He’s not able to reach into your heart if you’ve turned away from Him.
He needs to be your best friend and the one you turn to in fervent prayer during your best and worst times. Hold onto Him.
8. Find Support
There is something beautiful that happens when you know you’re not alone.
Reach out to community support groups, through social media groups, and other like-minded places that are available to offer their services as a support and help for you.
You need to remember that you’re not alone in this battle, but there are those who know your struggles perfectly, who know your hidden pains and sorrow, and knows what it’s like to be afraid to be sad because you don’t want to be a burden on your sweetheart while you’re helping them.
As you continue to pour into your spouse what they need by being there for them, reminding yourself that this won’t last forever, take care of you, hold onto your faith in God, and enlist the professional support you need, you’ll be able to make your life a little easier.
You don’t have to be alone in this journey and through this trial in your marriage. It’s so important to get the help and care you need so you can spend your energy, faith, and time on your spouse.
Before you go, be sure to share this post with someone you know needs this reminder. Please feel free to leave a comment and share any advice that’s helped you through the trials in your marriage.
Micah Klug is a wife, homeschooling mother to five children, and author. She teaches time-tested solutions to help parents remember what matters most in life, including strengthening their home, faith, and family relationships. To learn how a child who grew up in an authoritarian home is now creating an environment of peace and joy in her own home visit this page. If you want to contact Micah, send her an email here or email [email protected].
Thank you for this. My dear husband has struggled with chronic depression for over 30 years. He never has good days, although for the first time in years he actually went on vacation with me this summer.He does not take any medication and I’m to sure that meds would help. I will read more of your blog, it’s so nice to know that I’m really not alone in this.
Thanks again.
Oh, Cindy my sweet friend, you have my heart. I admire your faithfulness to your husband for these many years and will keep both of you in my prayers.