I’ve been looking for this marriage advice! If you’re wanting to take your relationship to the next level, have a better marriage, and enjoy a strong Christian marriage, then you’re going to love this advice.
If you could go back in time and tell yourself ONE THING about your marriage, what advice would you give yourself?
I asked my husband this question the other day, and I was a little surprised by his answer.
Before I tell you the marriage advice he would give to his younger self, I want you to know a little more about our marriage story.
Before I married my husband, he asked me on a date and I said, “no thank you.”
He asked me on a date four times, and the poor man had to hear “no thank you” four times. Eventually, he settled for us being friends.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like him, I thought he was really cute! I simply didn’t want to be in a relationship at the time.
But, in the end he won my heart.
“If I could give my younger self advice on marriage, I would tell myself that good communication is the key to success in a healthy marriage. And there needs to be a lot of laughing.”– Travis Klug –
8 years of marriage
Marriage Advice From Powerhouse Couples You Can’t Afford To Miss (100+ Years of Marriage!)
There are so many ways you can build a stronger marriage with your spouse.
You can ask each other these questions on your next date night, you can really learn how to communicate with your sweetheart, or keep being patient with them when they are most unlovable.
Then, you can learn from these powerhouse couples and the marriage advice they want to share with YOU!
THE SECRET BEHIND A HAPPY MARRIAGE NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT
“Never forget “why” you got married. Knowing your “why” will help you get through the rough patches in your marriage and help remind you that your marriage is worth fighting for.”
Mike + Carlie Kercheval, Fulfilling Your Vows
– 18 years of marriage –
How often do we forget our “why?”
I know when the days are long and your trials are heavy, that it’s often difficult to be your best self all the time.
But you can’t and shouldn’t take out any anger or frustration on your spouse.
Your spouse is your best friend, your lifeline in this crazy world. Why wouldn’t we want to give them our very best selves?
I remember at the end of 2017 when my husband told me he was leaving law school.
We tried to make Christmas as special for the children as possible, but I was terrified of our family’s future.
And so was my husband.
“I don’t feel like I ever deserved her.
“But I tried my best to show her how much I loved her, every day.
“Because heaven knows I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without her.”Grandpa D. Lords
– 60+ years of marriage
We traveled across the country after so many nights of prayer, knowing we needed to go to Mississippi so he could attend law school.
Then he was leaving after a few short months.
This was such a defining moment in our marriage.
We had no idea what to do, but we knew who to turn to.
In this moment of unquestionable stress and fear, we both knelt down and poured out our hearts to a loving Father in Heaven.
We both knew that if our relationship and our marriage was going to not only survive, but thrive, in this trial that we needed to rely on God for our strength.
A loving Father in Heaven was our guide for moving us forward and our “why” in our marriage was driving force.
There is no excuse to do this to your spouse
After my husband and I made the decision to fight through this trial, he began the process of looking for work.
It was hard to watch him spend so much time applying to jobs, only to receive rejection after rejection.
There were even family members and friends who questioned if he was trying hard enough to find work.
“Never talk bad about your spouse to anyone.”Amy Arthur, Cattle Upon A Hill
– 12 years of marriage –
There were so many opportunities we could have both spoken poorly of each other.
Just because we chose to fight through this trial together, doesn’t mean the hard times in our marriage was easy.
On the contrary, the hard times gave us more of a reason to fight to choose each other.
“You will always find a million reasons to give up and get divorced. Find the reasons to work and stay together. Finding the negative is easier, look for the positive.”Allison Bacon, Mother Teacher Dreamer
– 13 years of marriage –
Why you shouldn’t give up, even when your marriage feels like it’s failng
My husband wasn’t able to secure full-time employment until a year after he made the decision to leave law school.
He was able to find random jobs to help our family until his current employment came.
We also had other stresses weighing our marriage down.
But this doesn’t mean we gave up on our marriage, on each other, or on God.
And neither should you.
“Keep in mind the bigger picture: if you’re struggling with “small” things (I know they don’t always seem small when it’s happening!), keep in mind why you got married, what you want from the marriage, and overall what kind of person your spouse is.
“Are they a good person? Are they an overall good spouse? Keep in mind you’re not perfect either, but overall does the good outweigh the bad?
“Remind yourself of the nice things your spouse does and things you admire about them. It will help keep you grounded when you’re upset about something small.”Melissa B., Every Day Spokane
– 3 years of marriage –
Eventually we found ourselves moving our family back to Washington state where Travis and I were both raised.
Our children are growing up with their grandparents nearby.
And we feel Heaven is working overtime to help our family, and our marriage, come together in a way that glorifies the Lord’s work.
It’s simply a matter of patience and time.
The world see’s marriage as EXPENDABLE and confining. here’s how you should view marriage
Too often the news is full of marriages crumbling due to “irrevocable differences” or spouses mistreating each other.
And there are those in our own lives who say, “That marriage was my trial marriage. It doesn’t count…but the next one will last.”
“Set the way your spouse receives love as a priority in your daily routine so they always know how much you love them.
“My husband feels love through acts of service and quality time, so by cooking dinner and spending some time in conversation with him each day, I can give him the love he craves most.
“He does the same for me, too.
“Often times, when we argue or are frustrated with the other person it’s because we lose this focus. But since we’ve learned how to love each other, it doesn’t take us long to get back on track.”Erin Tannehill, The Tannehill Homestead
– 8 years of marriage –
You can’t keep lying to yourself to try and heal an open wound in your marriage.
If you want your marriage to last, and be happy in your relationship, then you need to focus your priorities on your spouse.
Do you remember when you were first dating your sweetheart?
You wanted to show them your very best self. And I’m confident that you wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.
So what changed after you were married?
Too often we become too comfortable with each other that instead of giving our husband or wife our best selves, they see us at our worst.
The one person who needs our support, devotion, a kind word, and encouragement is often the one who is the first to be wounded from our mistakes.
So, how do we fireproof our marriage and create a union that is beautiful and lasting?
“Always put God first. Don’t seek fulfillment from your husband, instead, try to seek to learn to truly know him and fulfill him. Build him up in Jesus.”Marcia Elizabeth, Home Faith Family Reader
– 8 years of marriage –
A beautiful and lasting marriage will take work.
A union that will glorify God will extract from us our very best selves, and that of our husband or wife.
Be patiently kind with each other.
You are not the same person when you married your husband and neither is he. You’re both learning and growing in different ways.
Some days you’ll feel unequally yoked in your marriage.
And although those times of stress and often broken dreams are difficult, this doesn’t mean your love story is ending.
If you and your spouse decide together to keep working on your marriage, you’ll find the best is yet to come in time.
“Make time every day for each other. After kids are in bed, hang out, chat, have a drink together. Just remember to make time every single day.”Samantha Shea, 5 years of marriage
You have to decide to keep working in your marriage. Keep talking with each other, make time for date nights, and learn from the trials of life together.
If you feel like you’ve lost your best friend or you feel like your marriage is falling apart, what would you need to change in your life to date your spouse again?
True joy is being married to your best friend.
Do everything you can to prioritize your life with the care and well-being of your husband or wife at the very center of your day.
When we choose to serve our spouse in this capacity, over time, you’ll notice that your marriage has turned into something beautiful.
Now it’s your turn. If you could give marriage advice to a couple who is struggling, what would you tell them?
Micah Klug is a wife, homeschooling mother to five children, and author. She teaches time-tested solutions to help parents remember what matters most in life, including strengthening their home, faith, and family relationships. To learn how a child who grew up in an authoritarian home is now creating an environment of peace and joy in her own home visit this page. If you want to contact Micah, send her an email here or email [email protected].