Being a stay at home mom isn’t easy. The emotional, mental, and physical tolls on your body and in your life are felt daily. Here are 10 secrets you need to know to find fulfillment and joy as a stay at home mom.
As a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mom more than anything else in the world. I would slyly watch the boys in my primary class and wonder what kind of dad they would be when they grew up.
I dreamed about all the fun games I would play with my children, like hopscotch and water balloon fights.
But, my parents always worried about me going anywhere near babies.
Apparently, I would take my favorite dolls and swing them by their hair. I would also sit on them to keep them warm.
And I would get so upset whenever my brothers hid my favorite doll so I couldn’t find her.
That was my childhood experience of being a “mom.”
And now I’m living this dream.
Four kids later and I’m learning that not every day has hopscotch fun or happy hugs.
Some mothering moments are downright hard.
1. as a mom – You Are Enough
I know some days you feel like a hot mess.
The kids aren’t listening (again), you don’t remember the last time you ate a meal without being interrupted, and let’s not talk about who shaved the cat.
We won’t go there.
Through all your chaos you need to believe that you are enough.
You’re more than enough for your family, for your children, and for God.
Now, you need to believe that you’re enough for yourself.
Because you are doing a great job.
2. Laugh At Yourself (& Your Kids) A LOT!
Do you remember the last time you enjoyed laughing with your children? That good belly-aching, side splitting, need to come up for air kind of laugh?
What were you laughing about?
I worry that as mothers we become so focused and overwhelmed with the process of helping our children become good people that we rarely step back and enjoy the experience.
There was a time when I found it hard to laugh at the silly things my kids were doing because I was so focused on the rules.
Once I started feeling this way, like I was losing joy in the journey of motherhood, I knew something needed to change. I needed to laugh more.
Changing this mindset was hard at first.
I went from hiding in the pantry to sneak a travel size Twix to playing hide-and-seek with my kids.
And life became more beautiful once laughter filled the house again.
Not from my children’s laughter, but mine.
3. You Are The Creator Of Your Beautiful Family
You’re given a canvas and told to paint a priceless piece. Feeling overwhelmed?
As mothers we know that feeling, too well.
Creating a beautiful family is hard, but so worth doing.
You’re the artist who commands the many colors of pastels, dark shades, and brings them together to form the masterpiece.
Some days are perfectly wonderful and filled with moments that make your heart yearn to never end.
While other days will be filled with tears and heartbreak. Filled with those moments you wish could end.
Although we can’t control the trials of our faith, we can create beautiful memories that last throughout our children’s lifetime.
4. Break Away From Schedules, Boundaries & (Most) Rules
I want you to walk (or climb) away from any unrealistic expectations you’re setting for yourself as a stay at home mom.
You don’t need the overwhelming, unbreathable guilt that hangs over your head when things don’t go according to your hopes and plans.
I get it. I really do.
When I first became a mom my eyes were so puffy from crying because I felt like I had lost all control in my life.
I use to be a “if you’re not 15-minutes early you’re late” kind of gal.
Now I’m happy if I can go anywhere without cheerios in my hair and a bottle tucked into my belt.
The process of letting go of unrealistic expectations for myself was long and full of tears, pleadings, and finally a pint of “death by chocolate” ice cream.
I want you to know that it’s okay if your house isn’t perfectly clean, if you find a few worms from your garden in the house, and if you’re late to church (again).
5. Don’t Feel Guilty For Missing Your Life Prior To Kids
Before you were somebody’s mom, you were somebody.
And long after you send your babies into the world, you will still be somebody (with probably a few more gray hairs than you’d like to admit).
Even though there are moments when you don’t feel like you’ll miss having six hands claw at your shirt, a dirty home (no matter how many times you pick up that toy), and forget your child’s name for the eighth time, today…
These are the moments to live for.
There is nothing wrong with missing your life prior to kids. I don’t think anyone can truly prepare us for the changes that come with being a stay at home mom.
But please don’t be so caught up in the things you’re missing that you forget to enjoy the memories and moments that are passing you by.
6. The Days Are Long But The Years Are Lightning Fast
If I had a penny for every time I asked the questions, “Where did the time go? When did she grow up so quickly? When did he get older?”
I would be a very wealthy woman.
Instead, my wealth comes from these beautiful children. They are my jewels.
In all of the time you spend creating a happy home full of excitement, memories, and beautiful moments with your children, remember to care for yourself.
7. DON’T FORGET To take care of yourself
If you don’t take the time to care for yourself now, then you will pay later in forms of nervous breakdowns, anxiety, and possibly depression.
You are the heart of your home.
Just like you can’t drive a car on empty, you can’t create a happy home when your heart and mind are exhausted.
How are you supposed to take care of yourself when you’re busy helping your family?
You need to have something that screams YOU!
8. Have Something To Call Your Own
You can easily get lost in motherhood, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The world desperately needs great moms.
But, you need to have something to call your own for when mothering moments become too hard and you need to mentally step away.
For myself, I love to create and craft using my Cricut. This has given me an outlet after my children go to bed.
I find that in the evening when my children are snoring softly and I’m piecing together my latest creation that I’m able to reflect, contemplate, and remind myself that I’m not a screw-up mom and that everything’s going to be okay.
9. Spend Time With Your Favorite Men
I’ll be the first to admit that God is my rock and my husband is my support. There’s no way I would be able to mother as I do without these incredible men.
Our Heavenly Father loves our children more than we can understand. He loved them before we knew them.
He wants to see our children be successful, happy kids as desperately as we do.
So, who better to pray to and counsel with about our family than our loving Father in Heaven?
10. You’re More Than “Just” A stay at home mom
You might feel like you’re a laundry maid, a cook order chef, and an emergency room nurse all rolled into one.
You are more than just a stay-at-home mom.
You are the creator of memories, the slayer of dragons, the hostess queen of princesses, and the center of your home.
You’re the heart of your family.
When you’re happy, your home is happy and love can be felt throughout the walls and into the hearts of all those who surround you.
Being a mother is a calling, one that we don’t take lightly.
These are the days that are challenging, yet beautiful.
but is there anything else we’d rather be doing than wrapping our children up in our arms and being the heart of our homes?
I don’t think so.